


will you hold my hand as we escape the world together?

by meananimagus



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, Idols, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Secret Relationship, just idols in love, maybe? - Freeform, protect minwon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-08
Updated: 2020-07-08
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:01:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25145131
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meananimagus/pseuds/meananimagus
Relationships: Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu
Kudos: 32





	will you hold my hand as we escape the world together?

it couldn't be as rough as they both expected it would be, until it was.

the hidden touches that no matter how small and simple like their linked pinky fingers under tables during meals or cute butterfly kisses against cheeks, the sneaking glances when they're at both ends of everytime they gather in the living room or dance practice room for a live, and the whispered words of adoration behind confined spaces inside the dorm, when they are certain no one is around, the tormenting desire to hug and touch lips, as they get longer, the harder it becomes to keep it within themselves. it all becomes too much.

mingyu has always been aware of the rules, not just inside the walls of pledis building or the thin sheet of paper they call as contract but the general rule of the world, the normal world, that is. for normal people.

the rule he despises the most, that a man is for a woman, a woman is for a man. whilst it is also the hardest rule to break, with just a faint sound of 'fuck it' alarming in his head, he still did.

the thing is, mingyu had never deemed himself as normal. he's never one of the many, never belonged to the normativity the world's system dictates him to be.

the day he met wonwoo, the first moment he set his eyes on the elder boy, first thing he noticed were his eyes, the pair of orbs that betrays the neutral expression he had on often because of just how many emotions he saw swimming in them, expressive, as if they are begging to be seen. the same pair of beautiful eyes that strongly stared back at him.

he still remembers the countless of time he put his index and middle finger together against the side of his neck to check if his pulse still works, if he still exists, if his heart hasn't dropped yet. wonwoo's gaze just makes his nerves go haywire as much as his mind does, and the erratic beats of the traitor of an organ he has inside his chest doesn't help at all.

it was only a matter of six months, nearly seven when he gave in. he gave in to the rush of feelings, all euphoric and addictive, if those two words are even possible to belong in the same sentence. blame his non-existent eloquency to form better rhymes.

what he didn't see coming was when the boy reciprocated the same feelings he has towards him, always had, kept safe and treasured.

"wonwoo hyung, i like you" his gaze downfixed, his tone shamelessly displaying his fears, how much just speaking those words out loud scares the shit out of his entire being. his fists clenched at his both sides as he awaits the elder's reply, probably rejection, disgust.

he risked everything he has to voice out what his heart has been aching to yell out for long. his friendship with the boy, his team, his dreams, himself.

a soft touch against his chin, opting him to lift his gaze up and when he did, a gentle brush of strawberry coated lips were already on top of his own.

"god, i've been waiting for this for long." wonwoo spoke against the kiss, their foreheads softly pressed together. wonwoo gazed at him like he held the stars, the moon, the entire galaxy in his bare hands and he hung them in the skies.

and mingyu didn't need any more words to figure out wonwoo likes him too, he just leapt and caught the smaller's lips once again for a sweeter one, a confirmation kiss.

but nights like this when all of their schedules are over and done, cameras are nowhere, the public is away, and all the members are fast asleep, wonwoo sneakily brushes his palm onto his, slowly entwining their fingers, slotting them like coming home, like it's exactly where they belong.

it's also when mingyu's mind goes down to the abyss of pessimism and fear and pain, to the unspoken truth.

wonwoo notices, he always does. he never did not notice every little thing mingyu does.

like when his lips twitches to a small frown, almost invisible, but for wonwoo's eyes who always sees right through the younger, they're all in full display. his little flinches while he's in deep thinking, dark emotions swimming his beautiful orbs. like when his grip against wonwoo's hand tightens a bit more, torn between wanting to hold on or just.. let go.

wonwoo sees everything, and his heart feels all the constricting pain, making it hard for him to breath, but all he does is fake a smile, pull mingyu closer, hug him or kiss the pain away.

they never talk about it. they just share the pain.

mingyu knows wonwoo feels them too. it's impossible for him not to because as subtle as his real emotions are, if mingyu has his heart plastered on his both arms, in plain sight, screaming out "i'm not okay, i'm in love and i'm not okay", wonwoo's eyes says it all.

they have no solution so they avoid it, like a sensitive topic, a prohibited conversation.

there were days when mingyu feels that he's coming off too obvious, that fans can see it all, that everyone can tell. so he tries and distances himself, just like that day.

wonwoo approaches him from behind as they were sitting in their respective seats, a fansigning event going on. a hand clasps around his shoulder, the crowd hoots, mingyu stiffens. fans were screaming their names, and mingyu feels exposed.

he was about to simply nudge wonwoo's hand off of him but due to panic, he impulsively came off too harsh, his instinct more frantic than intended. mingyu noticed as wonwoo flinched and his eyes displayed pain, rejection, sadness. mingyu could only manage to apologetically stare back at him, not doing anything else while deep inside, he wanted to squeeze the older into a hug and tell him how much he loves him. instead he just screamed in head a multitude of "i'm sorry, i love you", blindly hoping wonwoo can read them in his eyes.

it's too much. hiding and holding back. sometimes mingyu gets the urge to just run away and leave everything, maybe things would be better without him. maybe wonwoo would still be okay, at least he won't go through this torture of loving someone secretly any longer.

sometimes, he also feels courage, he wanna step forward and tell the members he loves his co-member in a way that is more than how he feels for a friend or a brother. he wants to show their fans how much he adores the older and yell out for the entire world to hear that he's lucky the wonwoo loves him back.

he does neither.

except continue the beautiful secret they have going on, to keep the sneaking glances of love and electrifying small touches under tables, at the backseat of their van, going on. and the quiet "i love you's" within themselves, only their hearts hears, only their hearts knows.

it's too painfully beautiful to give up.


End file.
